Thursday, December 01, 2005

Spider-Man 3

Breaking News out of Los Angeles this morning:

"Toby is out, George is in" News leaked this morning in the Los Angeles entertainment paper the 'Daily Variety' that Toby Maguire has been dropped from the Spider-Man movie franchise and they have brought in newcomer George Gl├╝ckwunsch. Spokes people for Marvel and Sony pictures stated "we've always been looking for an actor who could be Peter Parker first and Spider-Man second, we realized we were working backwards. George IS without a doubt the best Spider-Man we've seen and we can mold anyone into Peter Parker."

Reports went on to say "although living in his grandmother's basement in Bass River, New Jersey, George has been a street actor for the last 2 years. His acting chops on are par with most of Hollywood's A-List already and that includes "That 70's show" actor Wilmer Valderrama."

Gl├╝ckwunsch was discovered climbing trees in his local neighborhood and scaring the local children dressed as Spider-Man. "George's commitment to the role is unmatched. We can't get him OUT of the make-up" laughed Gene Gabo yesterday at the top secret news conference "at first we were a bit concerned about the make-up, (and of course the nudity) but seeing George that first day on the set, when my arm crawled with goose bumps..I knew we had picked the right actor."

It seems that because of George's 'method acting' techniques, Super Movie special effects teams WETA (Lord of the Rings and the upcoming King Kong) and ILM (Star Wars) have merged to form WILMA. The WILMA team has been formed to work specifically on this third installment of one of the most highly anticipated comic film franchise sequels ever. "We basically have to remove his "$%*@ and $@**$" from every scene. That isn't going to be easy"

When asked if things were going smoothly a top Hollywood spokesperson said: "George isn't like other actors, he doesn't wear pants. I like that."



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